The English Language & other stuff

The English language is a hard one to master. Alec (like most kids) has lots of little quirks with mastering this skill.

The other day I was picking him up at school and he was showing me his presentations. He was rambling on about this presentation and showing me a picture of a tree. Huh? I finally got it when he explained that this presentation named George chopped down his raspberry tree when he was a baby. Translation: The president George Washington chopped down his cherry tree when he was boy. And by the way our current presentation (president) is A rock Ovamma.

We were driving into Portland the other night and (sadly in my opinion)the largest building in the skyline is the hospital. Alec says: “Look there is the hospital where they loose a lot of patients.  There are patients there right? Why do they loose them”.  Patients vs patience makes a big difference when you are talking hospitals. Clearly I say I am ‘loosing my patience’ a little too often.

Loosing things can be a good thing. On the phone one night sister says she lost x pounds. I yell “you lost x pounds”. Alec starts crying –“oh no she lost them-how will she get them back?”  There was no convincing him that loosing something could be a good thing.

He fell a couple times while ice skating. Erik and I tried to brush it off with a “it’s ok- you just lost your balance.”.  One time as I am helping him up he wants to know if I have anymore balance because he lost his. :)

Alec was talking about shooting things. I told him he couldn’t shoot things. He asked what he could shoot at – I told him a target. He wanted to know if I would drive him to Target so he could shoot something. Whooops.  My bad.

Tonight he had a hanger nail. (a hang nail)

Other miscellaneous musings:

And this one is all boy.  We were talking about 9-1-1- I think one of his trucks must say “911 emergency” because he was walking around for days yelling 9-1-1- emergency as loud as he can. I decided to make this a learning moment so I have been explaining to him in phases what it means to call 9-1-1. This morning he was saying it and I said “Alec, mommy bumped her head- you need to call 9-1-1” (we had the pretend phone to use) so he pushed the buttons and told them our address. All well and good. I go take a shower. I come out and I hear Alec talking to all his emergency vehicles “mommy’s hurt- she’s in the jungle- the soldiers are going to get her- we need to call 9-1-1 and save her from the bad guys”. How did he get that from mommy bumped her head?

 

I was driving Alec to daycare the other morning and out of blue (or not) he asks me if I need my oil changed. Huh?  I look up to peer at him in the rear view mirror…

“WHAT”?

“Do-you-need-your oil-changed?” He says this clearly and slowly as if I am the 3 three year old with a short attention span.

I look around and see that we are next to PROMPTO. Huh…good question?! I look at the mileage and answer –

“Nope- not yet”. 

“Well do you need your tires rotated?”

I respond: “Well as a matter-of-fact I do”.

“Good Daddy and I will take your car in this weekend. It is important to have your tires rotated mom or they will get bad and have to go to the dump. And that’s a waste”. 

Really…who is the parent and who is the child here?

 

Child Labor Laws:

Alec comes crawling into our bed one morning and flops down between us and in a very groggy (as if he had been up half the night) voice says to us “this is my last day of being on-call.  Leo smashed the laptop into pieces and I had to fix it- yep- it’s my last day of being on-call”.  You poor-overworked 3 year old.

 

True Love:

Me: “Who loves ya baby?”

Alec: “Mom does!” “I love you too mom. I don’t always love to listen to you. You are always telling me not to do something and I don’t want to hear that so then I just love dad.”

Well there you have it folks.

 

Back Seat Driver:

On our way to school one day

Alec: “Mom you went when the light was red”.

ME:  “Alec- I had a green arrow- I am allowed to go when I have a green arrow”. 

Alec: “Are you sure?”

UGH.

Alec: “Mom- you didn’t stop at the red light”. 

ME: “Yes I did but then I went because there is a rule that you can make a right turn on red”.

Alec: “Do the police know you can do that?”

ME: “Yes Alec”

Alec: “I think you are wrong mom”

UGH!

I have also heard him muttering from the back seat. “She crossed the yellow lines- you should not be crossing the double yellow lines”.  (for the record- I had to go around a vehicle who was trying to park.)

And once I even heard- “Mom – you need to pull over when the rescue vehicles have their lights on”.

 

 

I’m exhausted.